People alive are better than people not alive – Craig Benzine
The truth shall set you free, but lies will help you avoid conflict while in prison - Craig Benzine
Mystery makes the heart go bonkers - Craig Benzine
Bird poop in the mouth is always a surprise - Craig Benzine
Don’t head but the sun, idiot - Craig Benzine
Don’t get scared of death, get rich. Then die. - Craig Benzine
In this world, nothing’s original. Except Pringles original - Craig Benzine
Destiny’s a one time deal. Turkey is forever - Craig Benzine
You can just deny pain…until infection leads to amputation. Then it’s really gone - Craig Benzine
Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is nothing…and that’s a great way to lose weight - Craig Benzine
Compromise works best when-shut up I’m talking about compromise - Craig Benzine
Fish scales are poky. Easy does it - Craig Benzine
I’m a smart - Craig Benzine
Everything is optional. Some things are illegal, and some things are really gross - Craig Benzine
Time travel is awesome and useful. That sentence had a typo when I published it…the first time - Craig Benzine
There’s nothing to fear but fears themselves, such as monsters, rejection, food poisoning, redundancy, monsters, and oxford commas - Craig Benzine
A little fear is healthy, but too much hinders the enjoyment of bird poo—I mean life - Craig Benzine
Inspiration doesn’t exist. Coffee does. And if you’re drinking decaf- hey…HEEEEEEY wake up - Craig Benzine
Visiting Saturn sounds like a lot of fun, but you will die! - Craig Benzine
Welding is badass – Eugene Benzine
Oh man. Dead kids are not good. NOT GOOD! - Craig Benzine
When you get worried get drunk. Not of age? Watch Blues Clues or something. Who let you into this party anyway? Ooh, jello shots. Want one? Bop. BOP! Not for you junior. - Craig Benzine
Words are just words. GUN POINTED AT YOUR HEAD! Don’t be scared. It’s just words, idiot. - Craig Benzine
If you want something done right read up on it a lot. Maybe take a class. Surround yourself with a lot of smart people who can help you out. Take lots of naps. - Craig Benzine
*nods* - Craig Benzine
*shakes head* - Craig Benzine
It’s always no good when not laser’s are involved. - Craig Benzine
Are inperfections is which make we grate. - Craig Benzine
Why be tough when you can just look tough, or never leave the house - Craig Benzine
Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder, and everyone’s a beholder, and everyone’s watching, like this: O.O - Craig Benzine
Ugh. People who use big words are so meretricious. - Craig Benzine
Saving time is so important that I’m not even gonna finish this sen-it’s lunchtime already? Yum yum. - Craig Benzine
Negativity’s for naysayers and bad people who suck, which, unfortunately, is almost everyone these days and always. - Craig Benzine
I would hate to be a bee. Be surrounded by bees all the time. - Craig Benzine
During a heat wave every dude stinks. - Craig Benzine
If you’re a stinky dude you still hate the stink of another dude’s stench. - Craig Benzine
Cars and bumper cars are very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car. - Craig Benzine
Things that don’t exist do exist. They’re just really fast. - Craig Benzine
It’s good to have more than one pair of pants. You’re less likely to back down if someone dares you to pee them. - Craig Benzine
It’s better to have a broken CD player that worked once than to never have evolved into a self-aware carbon based lifeform. - Craig Benzine
The grass is always greener when it’s covered in money. - Craig Benzine
This quote will self-destruct in 4…3…2…1…just kidding…or am I?………. - Craig Benzine
I stopped using my teeth a long time ago. They have blenders now, idiot. - Craig Benzine
Never go back on a statement. Conviction leads to success. Right? eh ih ah ih Am I right? - Craig Benzine
Feelin’ lonely? Start a family. Those people are obligated to love you. - Craig Benzine
Dead people are so cold. It’s like their heart isn’t in it. - Craig Benzine
Quitting’s for losers. Unless the game is to see who can quit the fastest-I quit. - Craig Benzine
Relish? What is that? - Craig Benzine
I hate when heads explode, a lot. - Craig Benzine
When your head explodes you’re not sure of anything. - Craig Benzine
Don’t go chasin’ waterfalls. You’ll friggin’ drown. - Craig Benzine
